Tuesday, April 12, 2016


Where to begin? I can't find any desirable looking photo except for my feet wearing patent leather shoes. 

Ok. I have been  in this planet for 36 years. It really feels like it's been a long time but then again, it sometimes feel like I just left school or gave birth not so long ago. 

At 36, I think I'm doing well though I have to admit my being moody never waned. It's part of me, regardless. The best things with growing older, I feel more confident, mature and wiser. No kidding. Though there's still so much room that needs improvement, I just feel that I have in ways become better than years before. 

I have fully accepted myself (with no reservations), the insecurities are gone and I have accepted that my boobs will never get any bigger unless I succumb to cosmetic surgery or get fat. My imperfections, the varicose veins that had been clearly evident since teenage years, the ever many wrinkles and pimple scars that have defined my face grew on me. As much as perfect skin is a never ending quest, well, the thing is..it will come to no end. I have held my head high against critics, naysayers and haters (just kidding).

My love for Amber grows every single day. She inspires me to be strong, seriously. I wish that everyday she'll continue to remember and love me just as the same way I love her. (Reciprocate my Soph-chan!)

Again, I haven't done anything irrational (like, joining a fan club or done extreme sports). I don't think I have time for it either since 'busy' always describes my day ever since I got older or I could be making excuses because I am too coward to even attempt. I will probably miss 'busy' by the time I get oldest. But there's still time to be radical and crazy in acceptable ways. It will find me.

When I was younger, I had this theory that there's a certain standard that people should follow once people reach a certain age. Like when I was in first grade, I see fifth graders no longer playing like first graders do. The fifth graders would just huddle in groups and talk endlessly. As I watched them, I think about giving up playing when I reach their age. Alas! was I so wrong. I never gave up playing paperdolls 'til college. So there's no format in life. Though one has to act at a certain age in work or in specific settings, one does not have to give up being oneself.

On my 36th, I wish good health, prosperity, enjoyment and lots of love from people who matter to me. 

Cheers to getting older!

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