It was the afternoon of April 16 when I felt aches in my abdomen. Ignored it at first for I thought it will just go away knowing I just turned week 39 the day before -- though my doctor warned me the possibility of baby to pop out anytime since turning week 37. The aches became more intolerable around dinnertime and then I saw blood down there. That was the sign.
Arrived at the hospital around 9pm and gave birth to Amber at 10:21pm. My labor was short that it surprised me but glad it did not take long (as I anticipated) because the pain was just indescribable.
Then the sleepless nights followed.
Since becoming a mother, I barely have time for myself.
During my pregnancy days, I have had a lot of time to waste whilst now is the opposite. Amber's sleeping pattern is unusual (as common on newborns) -- sleeps by intervals in daytime that last for less an hour. Thankfully, she spared the unholy hours by sleeping longer than two hours though some nights her tantrums and wails are inconsolable that I have exhausted all possible efforts, ran out of lullabies to sing but still NOTHING seems to soothe her. Her wail, which is getting louder lately, scares the hell out of me. It took me longer to figure out the problem (i.e. colic). Her tantrums can be frustrating and my failure to soothe her frustrates me more. If all else fails (which is often the case) I just remind myself that she's just a baby and wails are her way of communication.
Since I barely have time for myself, I couldn't care less about my appearance.
Hopefully this is just a phase for I sure don't want to completely abandon myself to the point of failing to perform basic hygiene (i.e. brushing of teeth after meal).
Since I couldn't care less about my appearance, I have no concern for shopping unless it's for Amber.
Though I was fully aware that there will be changes in one's lifestyle, I never really grasped the meaning until reality happened. I know this shall pass but one thing is for sure -- I am now responsible for another human being. It is not easy but I do hope I'll do fine.