Thursday, February 09, 2012

from the archives

I composed this (while at work) a few days after I tendered my resignation in 2008. This was supposed to be my contribution to Youngblood but I never got to send for reasons I forgot nor published it on my blog. Must be that I was busy with wedding preparations.



Approximately after four years and six months of working and (basically) spending the most of the aforementioned period of work in Tokyo, I decided to resign. Not because I’m tired or what but more of something required me to end this so as to begin a new one.

My resignation was not really shocking for most people because ‘the better half’ is working in Singapore. Thus, THEY expected that in due time, I will follow. My immediate superiors’ reaction, however, was the opposite. They did not see it coming in spite of their prior knowledge as to my better-half’s whereabouts. I surmise they thought of the possibility but never really expected me to leave this early.

The whole so-called journey changed the entire course of my life. Never did I think that I will linger this long knowing that I abandoned my true profession for a position with little (or almost no) reference to the principles I was taught to adhere and practice.

My first work was for a VISMIN branch, located in Cebu, of a construction firm as a Junior Accountant. Though just recently passed the board exams, the pay was considerably below average. But knowing the incessantly declining employment rate in our country, I grabbed the opportunity even though I was to be employed under contract basis. Besides, I was after the work experience. The benefits and other incentives of a regular employee were of no concern to me until after more than a year of working, still, under contractual basis. Reality sank in that I do deserve more. With that realization, few benefits and no signs of stability, I left. I sought for something permanent with better rewards.

Two days after my resignation took effect, I reported for work on my new employer. The pay was approximately 75% of the gross pay I normally receive from my previous employer. I know it sounds stupid that I did not even negotiate and all I was after were the employment stability and the benefits that come along with it. Still, I regretted nothing. My new employer was an engineering company engaged in design, procurement and construction of Petrochemical projects. I was assigned to work for the procurement department, contrary to the job description I applied for. Initially, I was shocked. There were five of us who applied for accounting and they accepted three and the remaining two were assigned in procurement. But having gone through the efforts of getting hired, I decided to just stick and see what happens.

Being an accountant working for an engineering company with theories and practices that are beyond my comprehension was, definitely, a huge leap. Nevertheless, I survived. I took it as a challenge especially after knowing that there were only two of us having no engineering educational background furthered the pressure. It was more of my innate force that motivated me to prove myself how capable I was in doing the assigned task. It was not really difficult that would require me to cram engineering books. In fact, all it took was to equip myself with basic knowledge on the materials and the whole procurement procedure of a particular project, which one will eventually learn from constant exposure. I must admit it was easier and not so stressful compared to accounting work.

And the highlight of it all, as what the management told me on the very first day of my work, was the overseas assignment. Not bad. The experience was superb even if it meant being away from friends and family.

As years progressed, I stealthily said my farewells to accounting and embraced my new-found profession. With this transformation, came the expected change. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon, slowly crawling its way out to explore the outside world. Then, eventually, wings begin to sprout, turning itself into a butterfly; destined to explore.

Just when I thought that I have reached a notch higher in my career in the company, the time has come to swerve. The time has come for me to let go and embark on a new journey.

Yet letting go was not easy. It even came to a point that I deferred the submission of my resignation letter for another day, to allow me to think in profundity the highly possible consequence of my decision. In spite of the promising career as foretold by my superiors, it has to end.

Deep within, I was resolute. I had it long before that I was not meant to stay. I was meant someplace. I was cynic on my fate ‘there’ from the very beginning. It never occurred to me that I’ll be growing old, still working with the same company. All along, I knew nothing is permanent and that, eventually, something better waits for me.

It must be the extensive exposure I had overseas that made me compare and appreciate more the broader and detailed aspect of my work, thus, giving me the idea on the limitless possibilities. Or must be the planned union so as to, finally, fill the void of separation between ‘the better half’, and live the cliched happily-ever-after story.

Either way looks blurry from this point of view. The lamp posts are not well lit. The road looks dim making it dangerous to tread. The bumps and holes of the pavement might cause me to stumble en route. Nonetheless, I am prepared for I know He is always guiding me. He is leading me to greater heights.

1 comment:

Nashe^ said...

This was a nice, reflective post. :) I hope the pregnancy/motherhood journey will be the most exciting journey for you yet!

I have a few unpublished stuff that will never see the light of Internet.