Tuesday, September 04, 2007

unburden the onerous

"Freeeeedommmmmmm!"....felt like screaming ala William Wallace minus the sound.
I finally convinced them about how stressful those classes were to me. It was last friday that I've come to decide that it's about time to withdraw. Withdraw the benefit as others perceive. As they say, people might view the same thing but see it differently. That being said, applies to me. I perceive the so-called benefit as something of a burden, an additional load to my piles.

I was never interested. the main reason why i TRIED to commit was out of respect. RESPECT for the very people who helped me build a career. A career i never dared dream of before (and until now, but for practical reasons...i stick to it =P). Have i shown any spark of interest, i would have suggested THESE classes way back 2004. The very year i first came here...for training.
I mustered all the tiny courage in me to compose an e-mail with a plea for respect and understanding. to sum up my letter, i was hitting two birds in one stone. My emotions dictated that i should be honest. Letters are meaningful if made out of truth. I was aware of the possible outcome. The possible rejection. But a part of me said that without doing so, i wouldn't know. So i did send it, just in time before i went home THAT Friday.

After almost two days of no feedback from their end, i decided to ask them (in person) if they have received and actually READ my e-mail. Indeed, they've read it but were unsure on how to reply. They told me about the highly possible consequence. I understood them. A long talk non-relating on our main topic followed and after that, HE said, "I understand". Those words were like the best for that day..like Enya music to my ears.

Then I caught myself smiling on my way back to my desk. Smiling, because i was satisfied..Smiling because they listened..and lastly, my opinion mattered.

No comments: