Amber at 3 Years

Dear Soph-chan,

I still call you by this name and I am happy you still respond to it. In my solitude, I seek your presence. While stressed and confused, I want your hugs and kisses to comfort me. I terribly miss you.

Today is your 3rd birthday. How time flies fast! I still remember the moment of my labor up to the time you came out in less than two hours of my confinement.

I still remember your infant self. I miss it, actually. The typical onesies with matching socks that I let you wear in or outside home. I have to say, it was a very stressful phase of motherhood but really worth it because we spent most of the time together. I was with you every minute of every day from first day until I began working again.

Amber at 5 months old. Cebu, 2012

I can write down every memory of you at length but that would probably take weeks to complete.

The main reason of this post is to write an online letter to which I hope one day, you'll be able to read.

I miss you and it breaks my heart not being there on your birthday. It breaks my heart knowing you've learn so much without me being there to witness it first-hand but at the same time, I am happy knowing you are loved by many. Your Papa is there to take care and make sure you have everything you need. Stay sweet and jolly. My heart is at peace knowing you are happy and learning a lot. I fear my absence in your life, likewise to mine, will become too familiar in a way we'll get accustomed to it. I will make sure for that not to happen.

in October 2014, during her school's Sportsfest

Good that you are enjoying nursery. Sing ABC for me when I see you again, in person.

Happy birthday! Hoping you'll finally get rid of tsuptsup (pacifier).