I composed this (while at work) a few days after I tendered my resignation in 2008. This was supposed to be my contribution to Youngblood but I never got to send for reasons I forgot nor published it on my blog. Must be that I was busy with wedding preparations.
(unedited)
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TRANSITIONS
Approximately
after four years and six months of working and (basically) spending the most of
the aforementioned period of work in Tokyo ,
I decided to resign. Not because I’m tired or what but more of something
required me to end this so as to begin a new one.
My
resignation was not really shocking for most people because ‘the better half’
is working in Singapore .
Thus, THEY expected that in due time, I will follow. My immediate superiors’
reaction, however, was the opposite. They did not see it coming in spite of their
prior knowledge as to my better-half’s whereabouts. I surmise they thought of
the possibility but never really expected me to leave this early.
The
whole so-called journey changed the entire course of my life. Never did I think
that I will linger this long knowing that I abandoned my true profession for a
position with little (or almost no) reference to the principles I was taught to
adhere and practice.
My
first work was for a VISMIN branch, located in Cebu ,
of a construction firm as a Junior Accountant. Though just recently passed the
board exams, the pay was considerably below average. But knowing the
incessantly declining employment rate in our country, I grabbed the opportunity
even though I was to be employed under contract basis. Besides, I was after the
work experience. The benefits and other incentives of a regular employee were
of no concern to me until after more than a year of working, still, under
contractual basis. Reality sank in that I do deserve more. With that
realization, few benefits and no signs of stability, I left. I sought for
something permanent with better rewards.
Two days
after my resignation took effect, I reported for work on my new employer. The
pay was approximately 75% of the gross pay I normally receive from my previous
employer. I know it sounds stupid that I did not even negotiate and all I was
after were the employment stability and the benefits that come along with it.
Still, I regretted nothing. My new employer was an engineering company engaged
in design, procurement and construction of Petrochemical projects. I was
assigned to work for the procurement department, contrary to the job
description I applied for. Initially, I was shocked. There were five of us who
applied for accounting and they accepted three and the remaining two were
assigned in procurement. But having gone through the efforts of getting hired,
I decided to just stick and see what happens.
Being
an accountant working for an engineering company with theories and practices that
are beyond my comprehension was, definitely, a huge leap. Nevertheless, I
survived. I took it as a challenge especially after knowing that there were
only two of us having no engineering educational background furthered the
pressure. It was more of my innate force that motivated me to prove myself how capable
I was in doing the assigned task. It was not really difficult that would require
me to cram engineering books. In fact, all it took was to equip myself with basic
knowledge on the materials and the whole procurement procedure of a particular
project, which one will eventually learn from constant exposure. I must admit it
was easier and not so stressful compared to accounting work.
And
the highlight of it all, as what the management told me on the very first day
of my work, was the overseas assignment. Not bad. The experience was superb
even if it meant being away from friends and family.
As
years progressed, I stealthily said my farewells to accounting and embraced my new-found
profession. With this transformation, came the expected change. Like a
caterpillar in a cocoon, slowly crawling its way out to explore the outside
world. Then, eventually, wings begin to sprout, turning itself into a butterfly;
destined to explore.
Just
when I thought that I have reached a notch higher in my career in the company,
the time has come to swerve. The time has come for me to let go and embark on a
new journey.
Yet
letting go was not easy. It even came to a point that I deferred the submission
of my resignation letter for another day, to allow me to think in profundity
the highly possible consequence of my decision. In spite of the promising
career as foretold by my superiors, it has to end.
Deep
within, I was resolute. I had it long before that I was not meant to stay. I
was meant someplace. I was cynic on my fate ‘there’ from the very beginning. It
never occurred to me that I’ll be growing old, still working with the same company.
All along, I knew nothing is permanent and that, eventually, something better
waits for me.
It
must be the extensive exposure I had overseas that made me compare and
appreciate more the broader and detailed aspect of my work, thus, giving me the
idea on the limitless possibilities. Or must be the planned union so as to,
finally, fill the void of separation between ‘the better half’, and live the cliched
happily-ever-after story.
Either
way looks blurry from this point of view. The lamp posts are not well lit. The
road looks dim making it dangerous to tread. The bumps and holes of the
pavement might cause me to stumble en route. Nonetheless, I am prepared for I
know He is always guiding me. He is leading me to greater heights.
1 comment:
This was a nice, reflective post. :) I hope the pregnancy/motherhood journey will be the most exciting journey for you yet!
I have a few unpublished stuff that will never see the light of Internet.
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