Q2 of 2018

Of course, there were two birthdays! Amber and I celebrated our birthday month in Boracay before it officially, temporarily closed down for rehabilitation. I could not repeat into the details but overall, it was an awesome experience for us.

Then in May, I resigned and took a month off before starting again for the same company I left last year. 

The month off allowed me to spend more quality time with Amber as I have always wanted. We went malling (very typical for Filipinos because parks are scarce) and just spent time watching cartoons (our favorites are Ben Ten and We Bare Bears of Cartoon Network) at home. 

As I would also wanted, I get to do some art. I practiced on my sketching hoping it will achieve realistic level and end up needing more improvement, but eventually with more practice, I will get there.

Also, I got to paint. My first ever oil painting. Oil painting used to intimidate me because I have always been reliant on hard medium like pencils (in short: control issues). With Acrylic gouache, although not a hard medium, it's not intimidating because the drying time does not take long and I can easily overlay it should I need to correct a mistake. On the other hand, oil tubes are expensive and requires a lot of patience, plus to overlay a paint requires at least a week (i did deviate to two days).

But here she is, call her 'Ina'. Ina is mother in Filipino. 

Definitely this is not the last. I am actually enjoying the process of oil painting. It takes long to finish but it will be worth. 

Back in Japan

Yes, I am back. As to when my period of stay will last is irrelevant for now. I am glad to be back although it means being away from family. It doesn’t matter to me anymore what people think (and honestly, I stopped caring of people’s opinion). As long as people close to me are supportive with my decision, I am more than happy knowing that I made a right choice. Although my only child does not fully understand the situation yet, I assure her that my love for her is always there and ever growing. I do hope that someday, she’ll join me here so that she may see the world from this side.

Tokyo Station, June 2018

During my younger days here, the period of stay had been my constant dilemma. I worry about it because I wanted to stay longer, thereby partly forgetting to enjoy the limited time. When I came back here in 2013, that was when it occurred to me to enjoy while it lasts. There were even hopes of settling here for good but that was thwarted by an unexpected turn of event which led to our decision for my husband and daughter to go back in Homeland. For the next two years and a half, I lived alone. If not for the busy work and my pursuit for creativity, depression would have been a bad companion.

Now, whenever people ask my true state of happiness, my response is yes followed by a sad note of missing home sometimes. Home for me is my daughter. Despite being away from Home, I am more positive with what I want at present and in the future. After all, everything I do and will do is for her. It will be a lot of hard work starting anew but nothing comes easy ever since.

The work is familiar so there is not much adjustment there. My main target at this point is to learn speaking Nihongo. My reading and writing basic skills are basically acceptable but conversational skills need improvement.

11 years and counting

So three days from today, I will be actually enjoying the rest of Summer. Not that April was a bore, it was actually memorable. It is just that my days will be less contrived, predictable but rather spent more on personal things. In a nutshell, I am leaving the workforce temporarily.

Before I embark on another journey towards career, I have long decided to take a break and spend more time with Amber. I will probably be unable to spend longer time with her when school starts so the best I can give her now is my quality time. In addition to that, I will be able to do the things I have been wanting to do. I know a month sounds too ambitious to do all these things but I know for sure, it's not impossible.

For the remaining days of Summer and before Amber starts school, I will dedicate my time to:

1) Spending quality time with Amber. It could be malling, watching cartoons with her all day or simply cooking or getting her fed.

2) Painting. Go buy that medium size canvas and create a masterpiece!

3) Finish reading that Neil Gaiman book. I haven't read a book from him but I did hear a lot of good reviews of him.

4) Watch movies.

Without the worry work, I will have the time at my disposal - temporarily.

By the way, I have been blogging for eleven years now. I know this blog is not a superstar (not that I want it to be), it is just nice knowing that Amber will have something to read about me and her and all things trivial surrounding us in the future. Some are cringeworthy but who gets exemption from that phase anyway.